Day 17-Cavtat and a flight to Gatwick

And so, it was the last day.

Emotions were mixed- I didn't really want the trip to end, but I was similarly ready for a bit of normality.

After vacating my apartment, I headed down to the lovely fishing village of Cavtat: reminiscent of 

the Grecian village from the Mamma Mia films, but without the hordes of tourists.

                                                                Cavtat from the sea

With my mind intent on spending a good chunk of the day swimming, I headed for a beachy area. I couldn't find one, but did find an enclosed area with lots of loungers with umbrellas around it. Seemed like a good option. I pitched up after paying 17 euros (!) for both (although to be fair this does grant you all day access), and headed for the (cooler than expected) water.

"This is the life", I thought, as I was swimming around with vistas of a cute village, and mountains surrounding me. Furthermore, I did not have to scramble to christen my lounger with a towel at 7am, which was a bonus! 

My brain had clocked that I was more chilled than usual, so it got me thinking about things that would trigger anxieties, such as the lack of flexibility I might have when on a plane. Needless to say, these thoughts were now present in the back of my mind for the remainder of my time at the beach.

Anxieties about being unoccupied were diminished once I was swimming and sunbathing, yet once I was having dinner (after my first choice was unavailable), I began to dwell on the flight, and the unknowns of what may happen. Truthfully, I wasn't quite sure where to place my emotions at this moment in time, but I was feeling a bit wobbly.

The wobbliness continued whilst waiting around for my flight. I had taken some Rescue Remedy (as well as purchasing some Croatian anti-stress remedy from the duty-free), which weren't really doing their job. Needless to say, I knew that I had to allow time for them to get to work. They certainly helped me to remain calm when I realised that my glasses case (with my prosthetic glasses inside) had gone missing. But would they help with the flight?....

When boarding the plane, I was reminding myself of how I was travelling home (to what could be described as my comfort zone), but was also simultaneously thinking about how I would occupy myself for three hours with an inadequate amount of liquids and no snack 😂.

The First Officer, Emma, helped to reassure me, over the line, by stating that the crew had just travelled the outbound route from Gatwick to Dubrovnik, and that conditions were "really smooth". Furthermore, the flight time would be 50 minutes less than the scheduled time, which came as a surprise, and made me feel less concerned about occupying myself for that duration of time.

So, after take-off, I did what I pretty much do on every flight- don my eye mask, insert my ear plugs, and try to sleep.  I readjusted my headrest into "sleeping" form- a perk of flying with BA (thanks to Sara for helping to source the ticket!), and half-nodded off, whilst my brain was still being active.

Personally, there is a correlation between feeling lethargic, and having an "implosive" panic attack, so I was keen to get off as fast as possible. Conscious of this, my brain started to worry as I was still (well, I guess you could say, conscious). The panic started to escalate as I realised that I was 40000 feet up, and couldn't quite enforce self-care where I was. So with nowhere to hide, bar the toilets (but I wasn't stooping to that level), I felt trapped. And I won't lie, it was uncomfortable, and I began to think irrationally. At this point, I realised that this sleeping malarkey wasn't quite going to work, so I whipped off my mask, to bring myself back to reality by playing a game of Countdown on my phone 😂.

Furthermore, I made use of the in-flight WiFi, which told me that there was 1hr30 left of the journey. It was great from a neurodivergent point of view that I could know about the goings on of the flight, but I was still unsettled as I figured that I still had to occupy myself, and going all E.T. on the cabin crew by wanting to "phone home" wasn't an option. So more Countdown it was.

.                                                    First glimpse of UK soil during the flight.

Upon landing in the UK, I was borderline emotional. I'm not a typically emotive person, but the realisation that I'd completed the trip without coming home early brought me back down to earth (pun intended). 

I made way to my accommodation for the night, realised the extent of how much of a tomato I looked, and headed to bed.

Holiday over and out,

Tom

Psst- tune into (in a computery/tablet/phone sense) the next post about my reflections of the trip.