Day 8- Budapest

 Hi all- I think it's safe to say that it's been a tale of two halves today. We'll go in chronological order, so that we will finish on where I am at now.

When I arrived in Budapest last night, I was struck by the excitement of being somewhere I've wanted to go to for years, and that in itself, was enough to pique my interest come this morning.

Waking up and realising that I was a 5 minute walk away from the city's main food hall led me to have some lovely "kifli"- a croissant-like pastry with a poppy seed filling. Whilst devouring my kifli, I took some Rescue Remedy to try and prevent the nerves and anxiety from previous days from being so prevalent- something I'd neglected to do beforehand.

I proceeded to the wondrous St. Stephen's Basilica, where I took the lift up to the terrace (instead of ascending 340-odd steps according to Google!) For those that know me, I have a big fear of heights-be it being on a plane or up a big building. It simultaneously makes me marvel at the view,yet, also makes me feel like I'm about to collapse into a heap of nerves on the floor. Whether I do these things to torment myself- I don't know?, but I'd like to think it's associated with trying to overcome a lifelong fear.

However, FEAR (emphasis on the capitals) is how I felt when I accidentally ended up taking a multi-storey, narrow, spiral staircase to the lower level. See pic for reference: 

(Rich, Flickr)

Now at the time I didn't know where I was heading (well, I mean obviously I was going down!), but was just not sure if it was to the bottom or another floor. One misstep and I could have gone flying over the edge, into potential peril. I'll tell you what-I gripped onto those railings for my bloody life! (well, maybe not quite for my life given how clammy my hands were!)

I made it down to safety (well, I mean I was never particularly unsafe in the first place, but it was nice to be off that staircase!). Next on the agenda was Fisherman's Bastion, a unique fortress that overlooks the city. With my height quota sated, I descended down in my private funicular (going on Countdown and Pointless really does get you going places!!) and headed back to base for some scran (lovely olives, if I do say so myself!). It's nice to have the convenience of having olives at least once a week for lunch! :)

Before pitting myself against the Budapest Public Transport system this afternoon, disaster struck! (In my best Daily Mail spiel), I was suddenly taken ill! I'll spare you of the details, but what had been a pretty good morning anxiety-wise, resulted in me pondering whether I was Hungary to get advice from medical professionals. Reader, I didn't in the end, and a cocktail of drugs (taken in a responsible and rule-adhering way) did the trick. Having said that, there was an uncomfortable sense of being away from having that safety blanket that I would have had at home. Whilst resting at the base. I began to ruminate about how I'd been relatively calm today, so, my brain, being ever useful, put some situations into my head and hey presto! I was anxious again!

But...I'd said to myself that I wanted to see the sunset from Budapest Castle. I did more ascending, but the Sun was setting- in a different setting...My anxieties were already heightened by blaring music (which never normally gets to me), and a mass of people (same thing as above). I couldn't get much of an escape. 

It then dawned on me. This was not fun. How can I go on holiday and not have fun!! It also made me think that loud cities may not be the best places to have panic attacks- especially for a country bumpkin, like myself. So, I looked at ways of heading back to Blighty. Cutting it short. Saying "you gave it a good go", but "factors weren't on your side". I looked at the costs, and my tight arse thought better of it. I'm staying put. I'm pretty much halfway there now, and almost a few hours ago, that seemed like an eternity. In hindsight, it will probably go by in a flash. Plus, I'd feel better for staying than calling it quits early and slinking into a probable depression for not seeing things through. And the baths....that spa day is coming- tomorrow, in fact! Here's hoping it will revitalise me before a 6 hour long train journey to Romania tomorrow.

Til next time,

T :)